


let not light see my black & deep desires

by Thrayonlosa



Category: Misfits
Genre: Anal Sex, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Dirty Talk, M/M, Oral Sex, Prostitution Roleplay, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-08
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-10 19:41:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/789429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thrayonlosa/pseuds/Thrayonlosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a kink meme prompt: 'cross-dressing kink. Prefer dom!Simon, besides that anything goes ;)' I may have gotten a wee bit carried away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let not light see my black & deep desires

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Shakespeare's _Macbeth_.

If there’s one thing Nathan has learned in the last couple of weeks (since he and Simon have made it sort of ‘official’ – that is, agreed that they won’t be seeing or shagging anyone else, because there is no fucking way Nathan is going to admit to the squiggly, stupid-giant-grin, stomach-swooping feelings he gets when he sees the other boy) it’s that Simon is a kinky bastard.

He’d had an idea, of course, especially after the very odd few seconds when Alisha had used her power on Simon. The harsh heat in Simon’s voice, and obviously the admission of that which Nathan cannot even think of without getting a hard-on – _“I want to rip your clothes off and piss on your tits.”_ \- had sparked his interest at the time. But instead of behaving like a normal human being and asking Simon for a drink or something, he’d spent his days calling him ‘Barry’ along with various demeaning nicknames. And then ending them by biting his pillow with three fingers shoved into himself while his other hand furiously stroked his cock, and picturing Simon.

Simon in a leather harness with a whip. Simon in thick black-framed glasses, spanking Nathan across his knee. Simon finally snapping and bashing Nathan’s head against the lockers, calling him a whore, blood smeared across his lips. Simon, binding his wrists tenderly to his bed and teasing him mercilessly until Nathan’s face is blotched with tears of desire and denied release. Simon forcing him to his knees, Simon’s dick shoved so far down his throat he can’t breathe. Simon’s hand around his throat while it’s twin pulls roughly at his cock and balls. Barging into the bathroom while Nathan’s pissing and – okay, well, he’d rather leave that one in the dark, thanks ever so much.

The point is, he’d never wanted anyone so much in his life (not even Kelly Brooke, who had been the cause of much rawness of the genitalia when Nathan was fourteen, and anyway, Simon is better because he’s real) and then one day when Simon actually did smack him one in the locker room, Nathan had allowed it, a small smile playing around his lips as he slid to the floor, head swimming, and caught sight of the outline of Simon’s erection under his orange jumpsuit. It was just too fucking good to be true.

“Barry, you’re hard!” he’d said in mock outrage. “Is this what you like? Is this what gets you off?”

He’d clearly touched a nerve because Simon’s face had gone even paler than usual, his mouth a hard, steely line and grabbed Nathan by his collar, slamming him back into the lockers hard enough to leave purple shadows on his shoulder blades the next day.

“Fuck you.” Simon had hissed in a very dangerous voice. Nathan pitched himself forward so his own remarkably evident hardness pressed against Simon, along with the rest of him. The ‘me too’ didn’t need to be said – it only took a few seconds for Simon to put two and two together.

He’d ended up sucking Simon off right there, bang in the middle of the locker room where anyone could have walked in and seen those stupid details Nathan pretends he’s not sappy enough to notice, like the glimmer of pre-come on Simon’s cock or the way Simon moans when he’s about to come (his voice gets a little higher-pitched and he makes these quiet cut-off little ah-ah-ah sounds) or the subtle line of Simon’s hipbones where they jut out ever so slightly. Of course, anyone who’d walked in would have also been privy to Nathan coming in his pants with his shaking thighs clamped around Simon’s shin, shamelessly grinding against his leg. Simon had smirked at him afterwards in this ridiculous, affectionate way like they shared some deep, dark secret (which, actually…) and Nathan wanted to do it all over again immediately. So they had. And then they’d lounged in Nathan’s pretend bedroom and Nathan had smoked many, many cigarettes and confessed pretty much every single one of his blackest fantasies. And Simon had leaned his chin on his hand and gazed at Nathan as he talked, his smirk growing more and more with every confession.

Their couplings are becoming progressively more and more kinky as things go along and Nathan is surprised to find that Simon is an equal, if not even more depraved than he himself. Which means it wasn’t really a surprise when Simon asked for - this.

‘This’ is Nathan in a short, low-cut black and off-white striped dress which flares out in a sort of triangular way at the hips and flatters his skinny frame in a way he’s not even aware of. Add to it some high-heeled black boots that come to just below his knees, hold-up black fishnet stockings and black satin knickers which, Nathan has to say, look fucking beautiful on him. He’s wearing dark burgundy lipstick, a slick of kohl and a coat of mascara, and a short leather jacket completes the picture. ‘This’ is also Nathan waiting outside the community centre under a streetlamp, feeling very pleased with himself as some chavs have already whistled and shouted lewd things at him from behind and then he’d had the pleasure of seeing their faces drop when he’d turned around and they’d been unable to tell whether or not he was, in fact, a female.

He’s having far too much fun walking around and around, admiring his own legs in the boots and stockings when Simon walks up, hands in pockets, collar turned up, shoulders hunched like he’s doing something he shouldn’t. Simon hadn’t been specific about what exactly was going to go on – he’d just said he’d wanted Nathan in drag and that had been enough to convince Nathan that whatever happened, it would be a hell of a lot of fun. So he lets a smile tug at the corner of his lips as Simon approaches him, leaning close.

“How much?” he whispers in a tight voice.

Interesting. Very interesting. They haven’t roleplayed before, despite Nathan’s detailed account of his fantasy in which Simon is a headmaster and Nathan gets the cane for being a disgusting boy. Nathan feels sweet dark anticipation pool in the pit of his stomach.

“£50 for a handjob, £80 for a suck, but I won’t be buggered.” he says with a grin. He doesn’t mean that last part (actually, he’s pretty sure it’s a line from some TV period drama he watched once with lesbians in it) but it’ll be fun to play around with Simon acting the apprehensive yet eager john.

Simon regards him for a moment, then nods.

“Know a place?”

**

 

Nathan leads the way into the community centre, holding Simon’s hand lightly while Simon checks furtively over his shoulder, playing the part. This is serious, then. Nathan can’t mess around or break character – not that he’d want to. He’s semi-hard already but the folds of his dress hide it. Simon presses him gently against the wall, his body warm in contrast to the cold plasterboard against Nathan’s back, and explores as if this really is the first time. He’s holding Nathan’s hips, stroking his taut belly with his fingers, tracing the neckline of the dress with his lips all the way up to his neck, and then his face.

“You’re very beautiful. Do you kiss?” Simon asks with quiet desperation in his voice and Nathan thinks for a split second about saying ‘no’, just to see what would happen, but he doesn’t.

“Depends on the john.” he says throatily and tilts his head, drawing Simon into the slowest, hardest, hottest kiss he can possibly give. At the same time, he spreads his legs slightly, allowing Simon to slip between them and feel him at half-mast against his hip. Their lips slide together, warm and wet and Nathan all but fucks Simon’s mouth with his tongue, biting gently and letting go little moans of pure, carnal lust until Simon tears away, eyes blazing and rasps out,

“Disgusting.”

It makes Nathan’s stomach tip over, then slowly right itself before melting molten into his groin. Then Simon, using that surprising strength of his, roughly spins him around so that he’s facing the wall, pinning his wrists together above his head. He places his hand in the small of Nathan’s back, manipulating his body so he’s posed in a sort of elegant arch with his arse in the air. Nathan peeks back over his shoulder and pouts at Simon, who groans at the sight and reaches down to slide Nathan’s dress up over his hips, revealing the lacy tops of his stockings and the black knickers barely containing his now fully hard cock.

“Christ,” Simon hisses; kicks Nathan’s legs apart and runs his hand down over Nathan’s arse, his thighs, stroking the lace between his fingers.

“Enjoying the merchandise, sir?” Nathan asks, half-moaning, and Simon gives him a sharp slap to his left buttock, forcing a little gasp from Nathan’s throat. Next time they roleplay, perhaps he’ll be a disgusting, naughty schoolgirl instead of a disgusting, naughty school boy…

“Shut up.” Simon says simply. After a lingering moment during which Nathan just knows Simon is staring at him, committing the sight of him in drag to memory, he hears the clink of Simon’s belt being unfastened and then feels Simon’s very warm, very hard cock pressing against him. Pressing against satin, pressing right into the cleft of his arse, to be exact, and he wants to quip about how Simon expects to fuck him through his knickers. And, in fact, how Simon expects to fuck him at all since he made it clear he won’t be buggered. But he won’t, because Simon might stop and that would probably be the worst thing in the world right now.

Simon begins to rock gently, sliding his erection up and down and Nathan groans, his own cock staining his knickers with pre-come. (He’s self-conscious about how wet he gets when he’s aroused, just like he’s self-conscious about how sensitive his nipples are, but Simon has never complained about either of these things.) He’s been told to shut up, but seriously, when does he ever keep his mouth closed, especially when his lover is grinding hard against his arse and he can feel a filthy litany fluttering at the back of his throat.

“Do you like my cock?” Simon growls as if he’s reading Nathan’s mind.

“I love it,” Nathan blurts out, the words ever so slightly slurred with desire. “It’s so big, sir, I want it inside me. You’re so hard, I want you to fuck me until I can’t stand.”

He takes his hand off the wall and spreads one pale, satin-covered cheek so Simon can press harder, closer, maybe even pull the knickers aside and slide into him -

"Fuck yes, I want you inside me...” He’s moaning dirty talk without even realising it now, and then it stops and he’s brought joltingly back to reality. Simon turns him around again, this time a little more roughly and by the hips, seizes his chin between finger and thumb and looks into his eyes, his gaze predatory and his lips smeared with Nathan’s lipstick.

“I’ve got quite a bit of cash here,” he says, “Am I paying for the sweet words? Do they cost extra?”

Nathan says nothing, just looks at Simon from under his eyelashes and exhales slowly.

“Put those pretty lips to better use and suck me.” Simon orders, voice low with need. Nathan whimpers, drops to his knees without hesitation and wraps his hand around Simon’s straining cock. A pearly bead of pre-come has formed at the tip, and Nathan looks up at Simon as he licks it away, savouring it on his tongue for a moment before Simon gives a groan of frustration and Nathan lets him sink into his mouth. God, Nathan was born for this. Born to suck cock – to suck Simon’s cock, and he knows it. He sucks hard, burgundy-stained lips vivid and wet with saliva against Simon’s blood-dark erection, his eyes closed, humming quietly in the back of his throat. Simon’s hand fists in his unruly mop of hair, pulling roughly, forcing himself deeper into Nathan’s eager mouth. It hurts, and it only makes Nathan harder. He moans around Simon, bringing one hand up to caress his jean-clad arse, his tight balls, and the way they twitch under his touch makes his own throb, hard and hot and heavy beneath the dress.

Simon pulls him off by his hair all too soon, takes his cock in his own hand and traces the leaking tip along Nathan’s swollen lower lip. Nathan pants helplessly, looking up to meet Simon’s eyes, his tongue poised to start again. Simon smiles.

“I’m wondering whether to come in your mouth,” he whispers, “Or on that beautiful face.”

Nathan hisses in a breath.

“Or I could make you break your one rule.” Simon bends down, his mouth hot next to Nathan’s ear. “I could fuck you, like you begged me to.” Nathan trembles, unable to control or hide it. “Do you want that?” He laughs disdainfully. “You’d want it even if I wasn’t paying, wouldn’t you?”

“Oh, fucking hell - yes,” Nathan moans.

Simon straightens up, holds out a hand, helps him to his feet. He slides one hand up Nathan’s dress to feel the soaked fabric of his knickers, feel Nathan’s dick twitch against his fingers.

“You’re wet for me,” he says with more than a hint of reverence in his voice. "Take them off.”

Nathan obeys, standing on one leg, a little unsteady in the high heels. He presents the knickers to Simon, who takes them with a lecherous grin and puts them in his pocket (Nathan surpresses a grin as he remembers his lover on the first day they met – “I’m not a pantysniffer.”), his other hand still playing around Nathan’s bare hip, maddeningly close to his aching erection, never touching. Wrapping his hand around Nathan’s slender thigh, Simon pulls upward, hitching it around his own hip. He leans close for another hard, intense kiss and then slides one, two, three fingers between Nathan’s parted lips. As Nathan sucks on them, Simon stares at him. That’s one thing Simon always does – when Nathan is about to come, or burbling something filthy, or just lying there naked, post-coitally – Simon always stares with his wide blue-grey eyes. It weirded Nathan out at first, but now he’s decided he quite enjoys it. He puts on a show, tongue sliding between Simon’s fingers, teeth grazing gently, all the while blinking his kohl-rimmed eyes pleadingly at the other boy. For fuck’s sake, Simon could take him now, completely dry, and he wouldn’t complain, he’s always been something of a masochist and god, he just wants Simon inside him so badly he thinks he might be going cross-eyed.

When Simon finally slips two fingers into him, Nathan feels like his life has just been saved. His back arches, head thrown back and it cracks against the wall but he doesn’t feel it. He’s rutting back against Simon’s fingers, clenching involuntarily around them, biting his lip, eyes screwed shut. Simon holds him, one arm possessively around his shoulders.

“Sh, sh, sh,” he whispers. “Wrap your legs around me.”

It’s lucky Simon is so solid and strong while Nathan is a skinny streak of piss weighing less than eight stone, because it means this is easily achievable. Nathan’s ankles in leather cross just below Simon’s arse, his arms around Simon’s neck and Simon’s fingers still inside him, his back braced against the wall for extra support. The dress is rucked up around his waist, stocking tops and leaking cock on show to the world – well, the empty community centre, anyway. It’s only then that Simon starts finger-fucking him, sliding them in and out and curling just a little in a way which has been known to make Nathan scream. He’s kissing Nathan’s exposed neck, biting softly as Nathan swears and sobs and begs.

“Oh god I’m gonna come fuck me fuck me fuck me I’m gonna come oh oh please fuck me…”

Simon’s dick is still slick with pre-come and Nathan’s saliva, and he’s open and ready, but even so it hurts a little when Simon pushes gently inside him. Nathan has to arch back so only his shoulders are touching the wall to let Simon in to the hilt, and then he clenches his thighs tighter to keep him there.

“Yes,” Simon snarls, fucking into Nathan in earnest. "Nathan..."

Nathan’s too far gone to realise that Simon’s use of his real name means he’s probably broken character. He’s lost in the way the loose, soft fabric feels against his thighs, the sweat between his legs making the fishnets itch slightly, the ache in the arch of his feet from the boots, the utterly exposed feel of being fucked up his skirt with his legs around Simon’s waist, just like a woman. And most of all, the sweet familiar burn of Simon’s cock in his arse. God, this is so happening again. Nathan never wants it to stop, but he can hear Simon making that amazing breathless ah-ah sound and he knows that means he’s about to come.

Nathan surprises them both by crying out and coming first, spilling all over the dress without Simon so much as touching his dick. His body shakes uncontrollably in Simon’s arms; if he hadn’t been holding on so hard they’d both be crashing to the floor where they probably wouldn’t stop even then. Nathan would continue to come and ride Simon’s cock until they're both drained and utterly spent.

Simon comes with a low wail before Nathan’s orgasm stops, and he has to take one hand from where he’s holding Nathan and use the wall to hold himself upright as he spurts into Nathan’s arse. Nathan watches his face contort in pleasure as he recovers his composure. It’s beautiful, when Simon comes, especially when it’s because of him, and he can’t help but let a smug smile twist his lips. _I did that_ , he thinks. _By looking beautiful in my dress and knickers. I made him look like that._

**

 

“I won’t be buggered,” Simon mimicks with a rare grin, accepting a drag of Nathan’s cigarette.

“Fuck off,” Nathan retaliates, giving him a good-humoured poke in the ribs which makes him choke on the smoke. “I was an honourable, virtuous prostitute.”

Simon scoffs.

“I asked if you’d want it even if I wasn’t paying,” he says matter-of-factly, “You said, and I believe this is verbatim – ‘oh, fucking hell - yes’.”

“Well, it’s not every day I get a john who cares so much about my pleasure. With most of them, it’s just wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.”

“Ma’am,” Simon repeats, and runs one hand up Nathan’s thigh into the shadows beneath his dress. “How much would you charge for the entire night?”

**Author's Note:**

> The very wonderful [larbzieg](http://larbzieg.tumblr.com/) made a gorgeous and ridiculously hot drawing to go with this fic, [located here](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/larbzieg/15563789/12450/12450_original.jpg).


End file.
